First, we have to understand where that phrase comes from. It originates from a conversation between Samuel and Saul, possibly before David was even born:
"'You acted foolishly,' Samuel said. 'You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD’s command.'" (1 Samuel 13:13-14).The first thing you notice here is that this is primarily a statement of judgment against Saul, more than it is a prophecy about David. So I believe the answer to how David is a man after God's own heart lies in this comparison (or rather in contrast) to Saul.
What were the primary differences between David and Saul that made David more fit to lead God's people and earned him his well-known moniker? There are many things about David we should not try to follow. But if we can grasp these key ways that he is different from Saul, we can learn to become a man or woman who pursues the heart of God.
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